Dodgers sign Andruw Jones

After sitting at the winter meetings in Nashville this week seemingly with his thumb up his ass the entire time, Dodgers' GM Ned Colletti somehow mustered up the energy to make a move, signing Gold Glove center fielder Andruw Jones to a two year deal. After reading this article a couple of days ago, I was more than resigned to another year of waiting and hoping for the combination of young/unproven and old/past it players to try and get a playoff spot. It seemed as if Colletti was not only not trying, but didn't seem to care that the "sit and wait" attitude was starting to make Dodger fans run their head into blunt objects, or worse, start wondering how he could score tickets to Beckham's first game next season. I started to wonder myself just how quickly the pitching would fall off, or how many games Russell and Rafael could win by themselves before it starting going south.

But with yesterday brought new excitement. The Dodgers improved their lineup without giving up anything. Yeah it's a bit over what he's worth, but who cares, he's still good and the Dodgers are a team that can overspend. No more Juan-for-four Pierre patrolling centerfield? Yes please. A perennial Gold Glover with 50 HR potential and 7 seasons with at least 30 HRs? Sign me up! We all know no one is dumb enough to take Pierre off of our hands, so that leaves Torre to sit either Ethier or Kemp each night, or trade one of them for a pitcher (preferably Ethier). I personally like Jones more than Aaron Rowand, and think that this provides the Dodgers with at least the best lineup in the NL West. Not only that, but apparently he WANTED to come to LA, and that played a big part in the signing. Now all we need is the pitching, and with no good starters available as free agents, it looks like they will have to make a trade. I'm not as high on Kemp as everyone else seems to be, but I would not trade him for anyone except Santana. Plain and simple. Don't even get me started on the 3B search either. (Brandon Inge, WTF?!)

At least the Dodgers are staying in the mix, keeping the interest level up, and letting the fans know that they are willing to improve the club each year. Now if they can only get us some pitching, we'll look like a contender.

P.S. - In ironic fashion, the Dodgers biggest offseason free agent signee is on the DL already, as Joe Torre underwent knee replacement surgery this week. Hopefully not a sign of things to come......

Rumblings & Grumblings

I hate Dell. Apparantly, I'm not alone either. My Dell laptop crashed recently, unable to get past the initial startup, ruining my blogging and creating an upheaval of mythical proportions. OK, it wasn't that bad, but as you all know, it sucks not having a computer at home. Dell's blow, as this is my third Dell that has crashed on me, forcing me to revert back to what feels like the stone ages. Even worse, I'm paying for an internet connection that I'm not using. Now I know most of you don't really care about that, but hey, this is my blog and I can bitch if I want to. Here are some thoughts on recent events in the sporting world.

Last nights game in Baltimore was entirely too tragic, and if every team decided to gift-wrap the Patriots a victory, do we even need to watch the end of the season? I'm just waiting for that Dolphins game in a few weeks, where you can just feel the poetic justice eminating from that matchup. A winless Dolphin team, against an undefeated Patriots team. It just has to happen during that game doesn't it? Just like the Dolphins beating the then undefeated Bears in 1985, it just has to happen? Doesn't seem very likely, but don't those things just happen in sports?

The Lakers continue to be an enigma, just good enough for everyone not to be on their case all of the time, and just crappy enough to lose to teams they shouldn't and get blown out by teams like Utah. Kobe has been up and down, Lamar still blows, Mihm looks like a crappy Radmonovic, and even Fisher has been a turnover machine. If it wasn't for Andrew Bynum and Jordan Farmar both blowing up and really killing other teams' second units, the Lakers would be far worse off than they actually are. I still think they need a trade, a shake up for a good power forward. Mitch, get rid of Lamar, I'm begging you.

Time for college bowl season boys and girls! Our first Go Blue Radio contest is upon us as well! In the future you can expect prizes and other giveaways but for now, just your pride is at stake. Go to ESPN College Bowl Mania and sign up. It's all too easy, pick the games, rate them in order of confidence, with your higher confidence games receiving the highest number of points. Submit your picks, and the join the Go Blue Radio group! The Go Blue Radio group is affectionately titled "Go Blue Radio", and the password is, "goblueradio". Simple stuff here people. Sign up, invite friends, and test you manhood (or womanhood).

After their disappointing football season that saw them lose every league game, and miss the playoffs for the second straight year, the Loyola Cubs turn to the basketball season with high hopes. After winning their first two games at the Redondo Union High School tournament, they went on to lose two straight in the later rounds of the tournament. They have a 4 game tournament in El Segundo this week, and I hopefully plan on attending a game or two to give you some analysis. The Cubs have a highly touted 6-8 junior Hollis Thompson, who I've heard and read great things about and am pumped to see him in person. High School basketball is always a good time, and hopefully Loyola has something going on this year.

Finally, as the baseball winter meetings start heating up, I feel like I'm having deja vu all over again. It seems like every year, the Dodgers are one of the 3-4 names listed in every single major trade. Yet inevitably, they never make any of those trades, and just sit tight or pull or weird trades for utility infielders or relievers just so they can say they did SOMETHING. It's a broken record at this point, and only making a solid move for a starter/3rd baseman would suffice to change the attitude of the club. Cause as it stands now, they're no better off than they were a year ago, with a few less players in the mix. I'm tired of seeing the Angels get every good player they want and make the necessary changes they need to compete, and even more tired of seeing the Red Sox and Yankees engage in their annual pissing contest until one of them pees on the MLB long enough and a crappy team unloads their best player for what seems like pennies. Like I said, deja vu all over again.

Hopefully I get a computer soon and can get back on schedule, but in the meantime look forward to some more great pieces from my other writers, including a NBA Power Rankings.

Age 6 Gender Issues.

So take a second and examine the picture below. Take a good hard look at it and tell me what you see? Do you see Celine Dion and her 6 year old daughter? Well, that's what I see. But I was wrong. Until I read the caption on top of the picture, I honestly thought it was a girl. It is in fact a boy. So why does this young man look like he's already having gender issues? Perhaps he's been listening to his mom's music way too much or maybe it's because they're French-Canadian? One will never know. Let's hope he gets his hair cut soon so all the other masculine French-Canadian kids don't bitch smack him.

Harry Potter 6!!!

So they've started filming HP6: HP & The Half-Blood Prince and boy am I excited! Here's a couple of behind the scenes videos to tide you all over (or maybe just me):

Behind The Scenes Featurette 1

I like when Frenchie says, "It has a hood. Because we are wizards." Oh. Duhhhhhhhhhhh.

Behind The Scenes Featurette 2

They should let people live inside the sets after they are done with them. And by "people", I mean ME.



"We are disgustingly wealthy! Yay!!!!!!!!!"

New Music Tuesday

Welp, it's Tuesday. You know what that means. People around the world are running to their computers to illegally download this week's new releases. Not that I have any experience doing this, but I'm sure it's a cost effective way for a college student to have new music every week. Lately, it seems that not many albums are being released worth mentioning. Unfortunately, this week is like the rest, but I'm sure a few of you actually care about the following albums.

Jordin Sparks, Jordin Sparks

Before we begin talking discussing the most recent winner of the phenomenon that is American Idol , did anyone see the American Music Awards on Sunday? You didn't? Well either did I. From what I read, both Idol alumni Daughtry and Carrie Underwood walked away with 3 prizes each. We all know Underwood won the whole competition in 2005, and in the words of Mugatu, "That Carrie Underwood is so hot right now!!". So in 2006, the "talented" asshole that is Taylor Hicks somehow walked away with the title. Daughtry was left with the last laugh. He finished 4th. He's huge right now. When was the last time we saw or heard a song by Taylor Hicks? Well, I have no idea and I thank God every day for that. He truly didn't make anyone proud. So I think the next step for Hicks is for Daughtry to take him out back and put him out of his misery. While he's at it, he might as well feed Clay Aiken to Ruben Studdard, and then put Ruben to sleep. It makes sense in my mind.

So Jordin Sparks released her debut self titled album today. I have yet to listen to it, but from the reviews that it's getting, it seems to be a pretty well made album. But we do have a slight problem, which is the song God Loves Ugly. Yes, thats right. we have another self loving anthem for the women. Let me barf on you right now. We had enough of that when TLC released Unpretty. We don't need anymore of these cliche songs declaring that the ugly bird is pretty. We all watch Ugly Betty every week. This morale is getting old. So in this song, the opening lines are "You said, I wasn't pretty. So I just believed you". Really Jordin? Did someone really say that to you? As a former model, do you really think you're not pretty? Do you believe everything everyone tells you? Well get over it and quit bitching. You won American Idol. You have a $1,000,000 recording contract. You're fine.





OneRepublic, Dreaming Out Loud

So, I'll admit it, "Apologize" is a really good song. Timbaland did a great job producing that song. Too bad he didn't do the whole album. About a year and a half ago, the Fray were featured on Grey's Anatomy and then became pretty big. I like the Fray. I'm not the biggest fan, but they do have some pretty good songs on their album. Now I ask you this question: What's the difference between the Fray and OneRepublic? Absolutely nothing. If you heard the Fray's album last year, then you already heard this one. When previewing the songs on their album, I could not tell a difference between the 2 bands. Fortunately for the Fray, they released their album before OneRepublic. It's like when John Mayer released his album a few years back. Immediately following Mayer's shot to super stardom, about 50 other artists emerged sounding exactly like him (i.e. Jason Mraz, Gavin DeGraw, me). I think Daughtry should shot Jason Mraz while he's at it. So with that said, Dreaming Out Loud isn't even worth an illegal download.


I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Week 11 NFL Picks

Good thing the Broncos are playing on Monday night so I don't have to spend all of Sunday refreshing the internet 1,200 times and checking the same box scores every 30 seconds trying to see how my fantasy teams are doing.........Oh wait, I will still be doing that tomorrow....

The whole Adrian Peterson/Chester Taylor fantasy story has definitely been one of the better fantasy story lines of the year. Everyone was hating on that guy who took Adrian Peterson in the draft, or even worse the guy who didn't show up to the draft but somehow ended up with him on his team being drafted by the computer. Chester Taylor was a 2nd or 3rd round pick in most drafts, and had been reduced to the bench or the waiver wire in most leagues, only for Peterson to go down last week leaving every pissed of Chester Taylor owner ecstatic, or creating havoc on a league by having someone pick him up off of waivers in the wee hours. Interesting how a guy goes from a fantasy stud lock, to a bench player with an all-time fantasy player in front of him, back to being a lock. Good times. (Except for me, who picked Taylor up after someone dropped him after A-Pete blew up only to drop him a few weeks ago...lame)

On to the picks, home team in CAPS:

Chargers (+3) over JAGUARS

Browns (-2.5) over RAVENS

Steelers (-9.5) over JETS

COWBOYS (-10.5) over Redskins

Dolphins (+10) over EAGLES

Buccaneers (-3) over FALCONS

VIKINGS (-5) over Raiders

BENGALS (-3) over Cardinals

COLTS (-14.5) over Chiefs

LIONS (+2.5) over Giants

TEXANS (-1) over Saints

PACKERS (-9.5) over Panthers

Rams (-3) over NINERS

SEAHAWKS (-5.5) over Bears

BILLS (+16) over Patriots

BRONCOS (-2) over Titans

Last week: 7-7

Season: 38-28-2

Movies Opening This Weekend

Beowulf

Breaking News!: Computer Angelina Jolie is still way, WAY hotter than you.

I don't understand why people make motion capture movies. If you want to make a cartoon, make a cartoon. If you want to make a live action movie, make a live action movie. But this in- between bullshit is just weird. And seemingly unnecessary now that computers can create ridiculously cool special effects in live action movies. That being said, motion captured "Beowulf" looks about a billion times better than the shitastic "Polar Express", which someone managed to be both super creepy and mind numbingly boring at the same time. And Angelina Jolie already looks like a superhuman computer character, so what's the harm? This movie's probably going to be awesome.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

"I'll show you my magic if you show me yours..."

Now, I'm a big fan of magic. I just finished rereading ALL 7 Harry Potter books in a row, and if that doesn't make a magic nerd then I don't know what does. But boy oh boy, the magic in this movie looks super gayballs. At the end of the trailer a little toy sock monkey gave Jason Bateman a hug and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Don't go see this movie unless you have a small child with you. And even then, you should probably just drop your baby off and let it fend for itself. That's how they learn.

Love In The Time of Cholera

"Wow...I honestly thought you'd be a lot hotter when you got old...ummmmmm, yeah....this is awkward now..."

This is a wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking, timeless novel. But the trailer makes it look like this movie is "The Notebook" with spanish accents. Javier Bardem is pretty much a badass, which is a plus, but John Leguizamo plays someone loud and annoying (what else is new?), so that's a minus. Plus, you might catch cholera. So you should probably just go read the book instead.

What Would Jesus Buy?

"Oh my GOD, I can't believe we all wore the same outfit. How EMBARRASSING..."

"Searching for the true meaning of Christmas, the Reverend Billy travels the country to exorcise the demons out of Wal-Mart headquarters, preach against the infamous Mall of America and visit the wonderful world of Disneyland."

I hope Jesus is buying this guy some meds. Or a new brain. That being said, go watch the trailer for this movie. It actually looks wicked awesome. Because who DOESN'T want to exorcise the demons out of a Wal-Mart billboard sometimes?!


That's all for now folks! Thanks for reading!

Gayballs,
Jill

New Music...

Perez Hilton just debuted John Mayer's new single Say. Check it out. It's one of his best songs to date. You won't be disappointed. Enjoy!

http://perezhilton.com/?p=8964

Bankrupt Baby Daddy

I found this story a couple of days ago and found it pretty interesting:

Apparantley, ex-NBA player Jason Caffey has filed for bankruptcy, claiming that he's about $2 million in debt. Not only does he spend about $15,000 a month in money that he doesn't really have, but he can't pay his child support to an estimated 8 kids by at least 3 different mothers.

The best part is that the attorney says that he doesn't know how many kids Caffey actually has. I'm sorry, what?? Don't you know how many kids you have, or do you just stop counting after 8? I kind of hope that all of the kids have some form of Jason in their name, even if they're a girl, like Jasondra or something like that.....But I digress....

So Caffey claims that he can't pay his child support because the figures determined to pay were determined while he was playing in the NBA, making about $5 million a year, and now that he's out and can't figure out how to have a regular job, he can't pay the high child support numbers. Makes sense, but don't you think you stop having kids after the first divorce and that first time you get killed in court with a high child support number? Maybe it's just me, but don't you think he would've figured this stuff out?

Now, if you're one of the (at least) three baby mamas involved here, you should be kicking yourself in the ass right now for not getting your money up front. Plain and simple, if you get inpregnated by a professional athlete, you need to get money upfront, because you never know how many kids he already has and the next injury could result in your baby daddy filing for bankruptcy in a few years. Just like if you're lucky enough to win the lottery, you take the lump sum. Don't be an idiot and go with the annuity because that money isn't guaranteed. The lottery could fold, the world might end, you just don't know. Get that money up front in a lump sum and earn some interest on it. Or you could take the not having kids with guys who have 10 already with 5 different women route.....

WTF?!

Sooooooooooo, a few weeks ago "The Office" aired an episode that involved Dwight entering the online role-playing world of Second Life. "CSI: NY" also did an episode about Second Life. Not wanting imaginary television characters to think I was lame (I like to imagine that all the characters on TV think of me as a god-like figure that watches over them and laughs at all their funny jokes), I decided to do a little research about Second Life.

And because I'm a pervert, my research quickly centered on a very important question: can you have s-e-x on Second Life? I mean, I figured that you could have plain old cyber sex, but could you actually make your avatar (a fancy pants word for the 'hotter than you actually are in real life' cartoon character that you create with Second Life) do the dirty nasty with another avatar? Well, here's what I found:



Not only can you make your avatars have doggy style sex, but you can also accidentally have gay sex with BATMAN. What a brave new world we live in. This is the real reason those scientists invented the internet.